


Hazards

by Subtle_Shenanigans



Series: Dissassociation [33]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crank - Freeform, Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Humor, Markiplier - Freeform, Prompt Based, Superheroes, Team, Turbulants!AU, no beta we die like men, we interrupt your regularly scheduled broadcast, xy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-04 19:51:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18350540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subtle_Shenanigans/pseuds/Subtle_Shenanigans
Summary: Just a normal day for Teamiplier.Turbulants! #11





	Hazards

**Author's Note:**

> Thought I’d give another group some time to shine in this AU! I have a list of prompts, and though this is a mostly Dan and Phil centered AU, even tv shows have breaks and show things happening to others.
> 
> Also I’ve been watching Markiplier makes recently again and just, hnnnnggg friendship dynamics.
> 
> EDIT: well it’s a little clunky but oh well.

     While False Fire and Amazing Echo were handling Gaveon, or gangs, or Revenue, Teamiplier was on the verge of breaking at least three laws just to catch a criminal.

    Today was not an exception.

    “Go left _, go left_!”

    “Hey! No backseat driving!

     “ _Oh my god; **watch out for the people you idiot!**_!”

    “Shut up!!! We’ve almost caught up to her!”

    Currently, Markiplier was standing in the back of the van, hand gripping the headrest, while Crank was driving at break-neck speed. Xy-Apocolypto sat in the passenger seat, seemingly apathetic, though one could see the fear in his eyes if they truly looked.

    Markiplier winced as his head banged the roof again, and became all-too aware of the metal hull of the van shuddering.

    Mark trusted Ethan with his life. He normally had no problem with Ethan driving. But when his friend was _Crank_ , it was a whole other matter.

    And he had no problem expressing that.

     “Ethan, it’s ‘protect and serve’, not ‘ _get rekt and swerve’!”_

     “Would you shut it?! I know what I’m doing!” There was the loud blare of a horn as Crank almost side-swiped a car, and he muttered a curse. His blue hair was falling into his eyes, limp with sweat, and he moved it out of the way. His mask was starting to itch uncomfortably, too.

    Sirens blared in the distance.

    “Look, we’ll  catch up to Vaporwave, beat the shiz out of her, and then the cops will forget about the whole ‘endangering the public’ thing like usual, right?” It was silent except for Mark’s drawn out wail as the side of the van was scraped against a wall at a sharp turn. “ _Right_? Xy, back me up here.”

    “You know, I would help, but making fun of you is so much more satisfying.”

    “ _Tyler_ ,” he whined.

    “Code names.”

    “ _Forget talking; pay attention to the damn road!_ ” Mark screeched.

     “Okay okay! Fine, geez,” Ethan muttered hotly under his breath, “You shouldn’t have let me get in first if you wanted to drive.”

    The next turn almost sent them spinning; Vaporwave was ahead, having stolen a car herself. They were in one of those weird parts of LA where it was a steep hill, and the car bounced before the dip.

    Mark choked on a strangled scream as his heart leapt to his throat and fell back to his stomach. It was decided. Ethan was never driving again. He’d ask Kathryn to suspend him in the system.

    Xy gripped the arm rests tightly, but kept calm. Unlike Mark, he knew that there wasn’t much choice in this matter.

    He does think that Mark would probably have been a little smoother of a driver though. At least a little.

    Fortunately - but also not - Vaporwave had looked back at them, causing her to snag a parked vehicle, spin out, and crash. She seemed fine as she got out, holding her head.

     “ _Break! **Break**!!!_” Both Markiplier and Xy screamed.

     Crank stomped his foot into the break, tires screeching horribly and the entire van shuddering as it rattled to a halt. With the backlash sending them back in their seats (and Mark to the floor, if he hadn’t been gripping the headrest so tightly) they sat for a moment, panting and hearts hammering.

    And then they were madly scrambling out of the doors.

    Vaporwave glared at them through bright blue goggles, sneering, and preparing for a losing fight. She knew it, they knew it; they weren’t new to it.

    But Vaporwave was one of those few who would just keep trying; she liked to make money by stealing, so by hell she’d keep doing it.

    Crank was ready to face off with her once again; his abilities were a pretty good counteract to her sound waves. Xy was behind him, prepared to freeze her where she stood if he could catch her eyes; otherwise it wouldn’t last as long.

    Vaporwave dodged Crank’s first fist, swinging around and kicking him in the ribs - he went flying and smacked off of a car, leaving a dent. In the next instant, Xy was dancing around her, slowing her down somewhat with his stare. But she was careful not to meet his eyes. She huffed out and the waves pushed him off balance enough for her to sock him in the jaw.

    She leapt back, glancing around wildly; Crank was rushing her already again, and Xy was getting to his feet. Now where was. . .?

     “I’m King Of The Squirrels!”

     Vaporwave barely dodged as Markiplier landed where she had been; whirling around just as fast she caught sight of almost black eyes and wild hair. He was hunched low to the ground and chittering savagely.

    His go-to person; but while King was swift, he wasn’t as crafty - she grinned.

    Animal instinct she could handle.

    He dodged her first blow, but when he went to retaliate she dropped and the fist behind her smacked into him instead. Xy have a quick apology that King brushes off as Crank caught her wrist, grinning smugly.

    She then kicked him in the ‘nads.

    “ _Oh come on_!” Crank cried, on the floor and holding his crotch. Tears were streaming down his face and he was sniffling.

    Vaporwave focused, jumping as something dived, sliding under her. And kept sliding, into the car parked on the side of the street.

    Then Xy was in front of her, taking his time while slowing her down. It was a slow dance back and forth; punches and kicks shared between them. One kick got her in the leg, and as she was tossed, rolling on the ground, she took a chance and looked for his eyes.

    She let out a whistle-like breath.

    It hit Xy in the eyes, rendering his ability useless while he pawed at them and cursed.

   On her feet again she was ready to run before the cops got there.

    “Well hello, darling - why, I don’t think that’s a very good idea, do you, hmm?”

    There was a knife tickling her throat, and she recognized that odd tone. Wilford’s breath ghosted her ear, as he murmured, “I’m trying to keep a good record here and I’d appreciate the help, after all,” he drawled.

    She relaxed in a show of compliance. Wilford may seem friendly and jovial, but every rogue element and criminal from San Diego to Bakersfield knew how dangerous he was.

    So she gave up, Wilford with a knife at her throat, Xy helping Crank up blindly, and the cop lights arriving.

* * *

 

    “So, what am I going to do with you three?” Kathryn asked, setting the file down.

    All three of the had come into the station sheepishly - and not for the first time. Some officers shook their heads in sympathy, a few looked on, agitated, and one flipped them off.

    Kathryn wasn’t pleased, definitely, but Mark recognized that subtle quirk to her lips; she was amused, at least. She was their Presiding Officer - a higher up in the police force in charge of dealing with any damage, media, or punishments. She was also in charge of their system files - which included their right to accessing their donations, events they wish to schedule, and right to drive (since a license could be traced.)

    And, as she was completely trustworthy, she knew their identities.

    “I think you should suspend Ethan’s driving privileges!” Mark blurted.

    “Hey! I didn’t crash!”

    “ _You scratched my van!_ ”

    “It’s fine!”

    “ _The paint is shredded off the side!_ ”

     “ _You let me drive_!”

     “Boys!” Kathryn’s shout got their attention; that, and Tyler had put a firm hand on each of their shoulders. Once they were focused on her, she folded her fingers together on the desk, looking to each one in turn. “Lucky for you, there wasn’t much property damage. Mostly just the vehicle that Vaporwave stole. And, you did help capture her. The Chief is letting you off the hook - this time. His exact words were, ‘As long as we don’t have another incident like in twenty-fifteen, then we’re fine’. “ Mark flinched.

    Kathryn leaned back and sighed. “It’s fine, guys.” She waves at them dismissively. “Everything is taken care of, and you reported like you should. There’s no other issues, I promise.”

    “Yeah, but now you have tons of paperwork,” Ethan whined sympathetically.

   Mark’s empathy lies elsewhere, but at that realization he felt further guilt.

   Kathryn raised her brow, smirking. “When _don’t_  I when you guys are involved.”

     Mark looked to Tyler, then Ethan; they nodded back to him. When Mark looked back to Kathryn, all three were smiling.

     She narrowed her eyes. “What are you planning?”

    “Oh, nothing,” Mark said innocently. His hands were clasped behind his back. “We just had some plans this evening - maybe a pool party. Amy will be there. Team Edge.”

    “Okay. . .?”

     Mark spread his arms wide. “And you’re invited. I will not take no for an answer.”

    “But I have paperwork-“

    “Oh, c’mon Kathryn,” Tyler interjected. “We’ll help you with it later if you want. Take a break and have some fun.”

    “Says mister stone-face,” she shot.

    “And?”

    Kathryn saw their eager smiles. Should she? The paperwork really _could_ wait until tommarrow. And she’s been working non-stop this past week.

     “Oh, what the hell; let’s get going.”

     “Whoo-hoo!”

     “Kathryn! Kathryn! Kathryn!”

     They were out the door before the other two could even blink, causing a ruckus.

     “Knew you’d want to.” Mark’s grin was telling though; he seemed relieved.

     “Well, only your team would try to wreck the city and then invite their Precider to a pool party.” She was smiling, shaking her head. “Only you guys.”

    “Hey guys,” Xy popped his head into the office, “what’s the hold up? Let’s go!”    

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt(s): “No it’s ‘protect and serve’ not ‘get rekt and swerve’.”
> 
> “You know, I would help, but making fun of you is so much more satisfying.”
> 
> Since I probably won’t get into their outfits too well:
> 
> Mark is wearing a pink mustache as well as his round glasses and his hair is somewhat longer than normal as a Turbulant (but not overly; it doesn’t grow drastically like Phil’s does, but his base powers are considered ‘shifter’). His outfit is similar to our-world merch. Red t-shirt with the holographic M, as well as black jeans and sturdy boots. 
> 
> Ethan has his blue hair, and his eyes glow, since he basically is a conductor - he can absorb, store, and stop the flow of electrical energy. He has fingerless gloves as well as a sleeveless royal blue jacket over a yellow-gold shirt. His mask over his eyes is reflective between the blue of his hair and yellow.
> 
> Tyler is mostly wearing grays that have a slight hint of green, and his mask is a lovely shade of light purple to gain attention, since his ability is basically to ‘freeze people’ (he actually slows them and their entire being in time, and if he makes eye contact + with less people it lasts longer). He wears a lower face mask with a big goofy grin on it.


End file.
